So much has happened at sixteen. So many firsts, and so many lasts. But I can honestly say I regret nothing. The people in my life have carried me through one of the craziest years of my life so far and i know I couldn’t have made it through without them. In exactly one hour and sixteen minutes I will no longer be sixteen year old me. It’s crazy to think I’m so young because it feels like I’ve lived forever. Ive learned so much through the mistakes I’ve made and I know there’s many more to come. I happily conclude my sixteen year old life with so many amazing memories and so many meaningful fuck ups that i wouldn’t trade for the world :)
i see all the bad in me somewhere in you, and that makes me feel comfortable. i see all the bad in you somewhere in me, and that makes me believe that it’s really not bad at all. there’s something about you, which I can’t explain, that makes me feel comfortable, trusted, and open. i can’t explain it to anyone because no one would ever understand. knowing that you’ve been through hell and back just like me makes me feel like I’m not alone, and that might be one of the best feelings I’ve ever had.
especially boys. i wanted you when i thought i couldn’t have you. but now that i can have you, i feel like i don’t really want you anymore…
i’m such a dumb girl.
did you really just send me all of the answers to my math homework because i didn’t understand it? can a guy really be that nice…? news to me.
Today I realized a lot of things.
1. i love naps. and orange leaf. and spending school nights with my friends.
2. i have no idea what i want to do with my life, what college i want to go, or if i want to be a college athlete. and i that i should probably start to figure that shit out.
3. i have virtually no feelings and i might be the most unemotional person in the world. i love my friends and all, but the only person that i would literally give anything for is my brother. i hope that doesn’t make me a bad friend or daughter……
4. i want to have that one person (not related to me) that i would do anything for. i want a guy to come and make me fall for them so hard when im least expecting it. pressure’s on sean. ;)
5. i am in absolutely no rush to grow up. i want to be young and free of real responsibility forever. taking care of myself is already hard enough.
and that is all. (:
Because I had such a great day I decided to take a second to write about it. I want to write about the amazing productive workout I did today. And about how I got all my homework done. And about how a new boy is putting a smile on my face. And about how school isn’t stressing me out. And about how everything is just seeming to work out. I just wanted to write about how much i am enjoying every second of every day and I that I have nothing to complain about. And that is all. :)
im so happy for my brother. im esctatic that he got into penn. im excited that its the school he wanted. im proud that all his hard work paid off. and of course i love the fact that hes happy.
i know its selfish of me but i just dont want him to go away. hes the only person in my life who has always been there for me through thick and thin. he is is the only one who truly understands everything that ive been through and hes the only one who ever will. im gonna miss him. so much.