alexisrae.

having to say goodbye to my best friend who has been there...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 00:14:45 -0400

having to say goodbye to my best friend who has been there through thick and thin tomorrow is going to be the hardest thing i will ever have to do. as happy as i am for him, I’m going to miss him so much. i hope the university of penn takes care of him well. (:

slightly confused...?

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 01:15:08 -0400

last time i checked you were 48 and i was 17 but maybe I’m slightly confused.

last time i checked you were suppose to be responsible for me and parent me but maybe those roles have changed.

last time i checked the law stated that you weren’t supposed to drive drunk but I guess times have changed.

last time i checked your children, your health, and your well-being were more important than a boyfriend but maybe I’m wrong about that too.

after all that I’ve done for you i still have yet to receive a sincere apology. i am continually bitched at for the most insignificant things and I’m honestly tired of it. maybe i would respect you more if you weren’t completely immature, inconsiderate, and fucked up.

but on a brighter note, this weekend couldn’t be better: drake and the lake with my best friends. I’m counting down the seconds. and just to get this off my chest: I deleted his number today. if i see him this weekend then so be it (:

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Thu, 24 May 2012 00:27:25 -0400

I want a nice body, but then like… food.

Thu, 24 May 2012 00:21:39 -0400

Story of my life.

awkward mondays.

Tue, 15 May 2012 00:07:38 -0400

i feel it is necessary to devote an entire post explaining my bad luck on mondays. my endless awkward encounters on mondays. my unfortunate occurrences on mondays. my absolute hate for mondays. tripping and falling mid conversation in front of a guy. embarrassing. people spreading your drunk words of who you would hook up with and being confronted about it. embarrassing. sneaking out and being brought home by the police. embarrassing. driving next to your ex-hook up buddy on the way to school in the morning and almost crashing into a bus while you were staring. embarrassing. people spreading the news of your eventful friday night. embarrassing. seeing him countless times in the hallway when you look like shit. embarrassing. being alive on a monday. embarrassing.

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Mon, 14 May 2012 23:45:26 -0400

if you'd just realize what i just realized.

Sun, 13 May 2012 23:55:46 -0400

the last month of my life has been crazy. and when i say crazy i mean insane, hectic, fucked up, twisted, stressful, amazing, enlightening, and so much more. i couldn’t even begin to admit to all the mistakes that I’ve made but i can attempt explain what they’ve all taught me. I’ve learned to live every day with the goal of making yourself happy, that pleasing others isn’t what life is about. soccer was nothing but stressful and without it i feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Ive learned that high school is a time for experimenting. you are only young and “innocent” for so long, why not take advantage of it. i can honestly admit that some of the things I’ve done recently have not been some of the smartest decisions, i would even go on to call them stupid, but given the opportunity i would probably make those same mistakes again. thats what life is about, making the most of your mistakes. so go ahead, call me a slut. lastly, I’ve learned that no matter what, my family will forever be the most important people in my life and i would be nothing without them. spending mothers day with a woman who would do anything for me and looking through endless photo albums with the best brother i could ever ask for made me appreciate everything that god has given me. so heres to the month of may, for making me realize whats really important and that the past is the past so we just have to embrace it.

no matter what i’ve ever said about this woman, she always...

Sun, 13 May 2012 00:26:55 -0400

no matter what i’ve ever said about this woman, she always has and always will mean the world to me. happy mothers day lisa (:

i don’t get anxious or giddy. butterflies don’t fill my stomach. my palms don’t...

Thu, 03 May 2012 23:09:17 -0400

i don’t get anxious or giddy. butterflies don’t fill my stomach. my palms don’t sweat. i don’t get excited anymore. needless to say, this is starting to get old already. our “relationship”, for lack of a better word, hasn’t attached me. and granted its all my fault. i have no excuse for what i got myself into, it is what i wanted in the first place. we’re both too afraid of feeling anything at all we have walls built so thick not even each other can break down. two people, too alike, in too many ways.

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Tue, 01 May 2012 22:49:56 -0400

goodbye sixteen.

Tue, 01 May 2012 22:48:03 -0400

So much has happened at sixteen. So many firsts, and so many lasts. But I can honestly say I regret nothing. The people in my life have carried me through one of the craziest years of my life so far and i know I couldn’t have made it through without them. In exactly one hour and sixteen minutes I will no longer be sixteen year old me. It’s crazy to think I’m so young because it feels like I’ve lived forever. Ive learned so much through the mistakes I’ve made and I know there’s many more to come. I happily conclude my sixteen year old life with so many amazing memories and so many meaningful fuck ups that i wouldn’t trade for the world :)

i see all the bad in me somewhere in you, and that makes me feel comfortable. i see all the bad in...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:59:55 -0400

i see all the bad in me somewhere in you, and that makes me feel comfortable. i see all the bad in you somewhere in me, and that makes me believe that it’s really not bad at all. there’s something about you, which I can’t explain, that makes me feel comfortable, trusted, and open. i can’t explain it to anyone because no one would ever understand. knowing that you’ve been through hell and back just like me makes me feel like I’m not alone, and that might be one of the best feelings I’ve ever had.

you want what you can't have.

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 22:51:40 -0500

especially boys. i wanted you when i thought i couldn’t have you. but now that i can have you, i feel like i don’t really want you anymore…

i’m such a dumb girl.

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Sun, 29 Jan 2012 22:21:03 -0500

wait, what?

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:16:27 -0500

did you really just send me all of the answers to my math homework because i didn’t understand it? can a guy really be that nice…? news to me.

wjionakamckldah.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:11:34 -0500

Today I realized a lot of things.

1. i love naps. and orange leaf. and spending school nights with my friends.

2. i have no idea what i want to do with my life, what college i want to go, or if i want to be a college athlete. and i that i should probably start to figure that shit out.

3. i have virtually no feelings and i might be the most unemotional person in the world. i love my friends and all, but the only person that i would literally give anything for is my brother. i hope that doesn’t make me a bad friend or daughter……

4. i want to have that one person (not related to me) that i would do anything for. i want a guy to come and make me fall for them so hard when im least expecting it. pressure’s on sean. ;)

5. i am in absolutely no rush to grow up. i want to be young and free of real responsibility forever. taking care of myself is already hard enough.

and that is all. (:

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Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:02:36 -0500

It's been a while.

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:32:05 -0500

Because I had such a great day I decided to take a second to write about it. I want to write about the amazing productive workout I did today. And about how I got all my homework done. And about how a new boy is putting a smile on my face. And about how school isn’t stressing me out. And about how everything is just seeming to work out. I just wanted to write about how much i am enjoying every second of every day and I that I have nothing to complain about. And that is all. :)

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Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:35:15 -0500

mixed emotions

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:25:38 -0500

im so happy for my brother. im esctatic that he got into penn. im excited that its the school he wanted. im proud that all his hard work paid off. and of course i love the fact that hes happy.

i know its selfish of me but i just dont want him to go away. hes the only person in my life who has always been there for me through thick and thin. he is is the only one who truly understands everything that ive been through and hes the only one who ever will. im gonna miss him. so much.